According to Reach Out, self talk can have an impact on your confidence, whether it is positive or negative self-talk. Practicing positive self talk can help improve how you feel about yourself. Although it may sound simple, positive self talk is significant because it can shape the way you perceive yourself. Speaking to yourself in a negative manner can have just as much of an impact on how you view yourself.

What is self talk?

Self talk can be considered as your inner voice. It involves thinking and does not necessarily mean speaking out loud to yourself. Sometimes, you may not even realize when self-talk is happening and the thoughts that go through your mind are out of your control, which is why you need to be more aware of positive self-talk.

Negative vs. Positive Self Talk

Negative Self Talk

Involving a more “negative” approach, negative self-talk makes you feel bad about yourself. Having a negative perception about yourself and the things that you do can bring you down and impact your mental health.

Here are some examples of negative self talk from Joan Swan:

• I am not good at… (writing/singing/etc)
• Why should I try? It won’t work out anyway.
• Nothing ever goes right/goes my way.
• I don’t have enough time. This is too much work.
• I am so tired.
• It is not my day.
• Why can’t I do this?
• What’s wrong with me?

Positive Self Talk

Taking a more optimistic tone, positive self-talk creates a more “positive” view about yourself. It is intended to make you feel better about yourself, and can overall have a better impact on your confidence.

Here are some examples of positive self talk:

• I’m making progress.
• I can handle this.
• I am willing to try.
• I am beautiful.
• I am in control of this.
• I can do this.
• I am excellent at… (writing/singing/etc)
• I have a fantastic… (mind/talent/etc)
• I am capable.
• I am confidant.
• I am good enough.
• I’ve got this.

How can I practice positive self talk?

1. Become aware of the negative internal chatter.

Try to be aware of your internal voice. Most times, negative self-talk involves “I can’t” instead of saying “I can.” Thinking or saying that you cannot do something will keep you from achieving your goals. It may be difficult to become more aware of the negative internal chatter, but it will help change your perspective about yourself and what you can control.

2. Instead of negative thoughts, replace them with positive affirmations.

According to Bustle, positive affirmations are positive statements that have a perceived truth. You have to listen to your inner voice and believe the positive statements that you are telling yourself, otherwise practicing positive self-talk will not work. It can help to read the positive affirmations aloud with feeling and truth. Keep repeating the positive affirmations and replace negative thoughts with positive self-talk. You are capable and willing to try.

3. Get rid of external influences.

External influences can have a huge impact on your inner voice and positive self-talk. Outside voices can influence the way you perceive yourself and can even take the place of your own individual voice. When you surround yourself with degrading and pessimistic people, you may find that you become one of them. People who intentionally bring you down can be toxic and should not be in your life, especially when you are trying to better yourself.

4. Focus on the present.

It is important to focus on the present because you need to get rid of thoughts about past mistakes. You cannot control the past or what happened because you are in the now, so why worry about what is out of your control. What is in your control is what is happening now, in the present. Let whatever happened in the past stay in the past and learn from your mistakes so that you can move on in the present.

5. Don’t try to force positive thoughts; use possible thinking.

Forcing yourself to have positive thoughts all of the time may actually make things worse. Use possible thinking instead can be more realistic with what is happening to you. Take a more neutral stance and consider the situation you are in. Are you letting an overwhelming amount of negative or positive thoughts control your decisions? Acknowledge this and be honest with yourself about how you are handling certain situations so that you can be more aware of what will make you feel better.

6. Treat yourself how you treat a friend or family member.

Ever heard of the saying “treat others the way you want to be treated,” well in this instance, try and treat yourself the way you would treat a friend or family member. Would you tell a friend that they couldn’t do something? Would you tell a family member that they are incapable or worthless? If not, then you should not tell those negative statements to yourself. The brain is a powerful thing, which is why you should not let your thoughts control you and instead you should take control over your thoughts.

The more you practice positive self talk, the easier it will get. Positive self talk can help with your confidence and self-esteem, but should not be an overwhelming task. You are capable and you are more likely able to accomplish anything if you believe you can.