What is an Energy Vampire?
Have you been the victim of an energy vampire? Most likely, you have without knowing — and probably without even knowing what they are. According to Psych Central, energy vampires are “emotionally immature individuals who have the sense that the whole world revolves around them. They are incapable of seeing things from another person’s perspective, often lack empathy, and believe that they must take everything they can get from others and that giving anything will deprive them of essential resources.”
How to Identify Energy Vampires
They may be highly attractive individuals, as well as flattering and attention-giving at first, which draws people into their tangled web. But such activities are usually just the “grooming” phase for these folks, as they have no intention of keeping you on any sort of pedestal. Once they have you where they want you, they will usually strike without warning (sometimes even to themselves), causing you exhaustion, stress, guilt, or other harmful emotions, or possibly asking you to do things which seem innocent but ultimately compromise your morals — and sadly may even eventually get you into trouble with the law.
And according to Oprah.com, these individuals can come in a variety of not-so-fun forms, like the sobber, the charmer, the blamer and the drama queen, all of which, regardless of their main approach, tend to bring unwanted negativity or additional stress to your life. But what can you do?
Become Aware our Feelings and Bodily Sensations
It starts with recognizing our own feelings and experiences when certain people are around. Are you ready to lie down after having a conversation with your new friend from the office? Do you feel like bursting into tears when you hang up with your old high school BFF? Does your neighbor give you a headache just by entering the room? Does your chest tighten when your sister-in-law brings her new boyfriend around? Your body may be trying to tell you something — and probably knows more than you do.
Get in Tune with Your Body & Pull Them Into Your Peace
Getting in tune with our bodies’ communication is the first step toward managing the vampire. If we feel unpleasant things when we’ve been in their midst, it’s time to use our mindful awareness to get control of the situation. First try to pull them into your peace by gently coaxing them to sit down, take some deep breaths, look at the situation from a different perspective, or otherwise respond to your positivity. If that doesn’t work (and it often does not), then it’s time to try some other tricks.
Set Healthy Boundaries or Focus on Helpful Techniques
Set boundaries with the person (i.e. tell them something like, “I can only talk for about ten minutes and then I have to go pick up my kids” if lengthy conversations with them give you a headache) or find a way to withdraw into safer terrain until they pass you by (i.e. go to the bathroom to center yourself in a quiet, private space, do some deep breathing, and don’t come out until you feel calm). If it’s impossible to avoid them or apply better boundaries (i.e. if they’re your boss at work, or some other type of authority figure in your life), try concentrating on your breathing and envisioning a protective white light enveloping you, preventing any negative energy from invading your positive, pleasant, happy place. Sometimes just focusing on this while looking at them and imagining them calmer and happier can help pull them into your peace when directly trying to do so has failed.
Say Goodbye to the Vampire — For Good
In the worst case scenario, when all of your attempts at the above have failed and the person is still sucking up all your good energy, it may be time to completely cut ties and get them out of your life. Of course, this is not the ideal option and should only be done in extreme circumstances as it can be quite unkind otherwise, it may be necessary with people who consistently get us into bad situations or make victims out of us. By continuing to join them in their lower vibrational escapades, we are giving them more power and essentially contributing to our own demise.
If you’re ready to find out if you’ve been the victim of an energy vampire, try this quiz.
