Whether you are trying to rebuild trust within a friendship or a romantic relationship, it will be difficult. Maybe you have made a mistake or maybe you have caused pain, but at least you are trying to make amends. Luckily, you can rebuild trust. However, you will need to take time and have patience.
Before you attempt to rebuild trust with another individual, you should establish inner trust first. Not only should you become trustworthy of yourself, but also your partner should establish inner trust as well. By creating self-trust, you and your partner will more easily be able to distinguish what is right or wrong. Follow your own feelings and trust what your inner self is trying to tell you.
Trust is an essential part within every relationship. When it is broken, it is difficult to rebuild, but it is not impossible.
Below are some suggested tips and steps to take to help rebuild trust.
Forgiveness
First, do not create blame. In order to progress towards rebuilding trust, the person you wronged may feel guilty or may be blaming him or herself. Do not blame them, and instead focus on forgiveness. They will need to work on forgiving him or herself before they can forgive you. Distrust is hard to deal with and forgiveness is even harder to reach.
Patience
Be patient. It will take time to completely rebuild trust. If you are willing to put in the effort and put in the time, then you are already a step ahead. Sometimes it may feel like you are making progress and other times you may feel like you are back at the start. Stay calm when things do not seem to be going your way. You need to keep a positive attitude and stay patient.
Responsibility
Take responsibility for your actions. Whatever caused the distrust within your relationship you need to be responsible for your choices. Look at why and how you did what you did to cause the distrust and reflect upon it. Do not deny what you have done. Be honest. You will also need to be responsible for your actions in the present. Be aware of what you are doing in the present and how you can try and improve your decision-making.
Affection, Attention, and Appreciation
Practicing the three A’s, “Affection, Attention, and Appreciation,” will show your partner how much you care for them. Taking the time each day to show your affection, attention and appreciation for the one you care about and love can help rebuild trust within your relationship. Showing your attention and appreciation can be achieved in small or big ways.
Conversation
Talking about what has happened can help open yourself up while also allowing your partner hear your reasons for what you did. When you talk about it, try not to be defensive or casual. Take your conversation seriously and be honest with yourself. Speak of your feelings and be aware if you need help or need to set an appointment with a counselor. Because you are sincerely looking to work out the problems at hand you will more likely be able to rebuild trust.
No Secrets
Lies and secrecy create an environment filled with mistrust. In order to move on, you cannot have any more lies or secrets from your partner. For a period of time, you may need to share your cell phone, email, or schedules with your partner. You need to open up with your partner and be honest. Put your relationship first, even if this means you need to put it before your privacy. There may be some hesitation to rebuild trust if secrecy continues to be a problem.
Change
Lastly, expect change. Rebuilding trust will take a great amount of effort and is more like a lifestyle change than a choice. Trust is earned and built upon, not given. Changing your focus from yourself to your relationship will help allow you to make progression towards rebuilding trust. Doing wrong to yourself or others comes with consequences, especially when you hurt those closest to you. Nothing will change unless you act and do something to salvage your relationship.
Of course there are small lies and secrets within many relationships, but when trust is broken, people get hurt. Always be open for help if you need it. Trust is a serious matter because it is a part of every relationship, which is why you should be serious about rebuilding trust within your relationship if that is truly what you want.
