Funny Instagram Captions and Quotes – Make Your Friends Laugh!

Instagram has become a spectacularly successful app because people are passionate about taking and sharing photos of themselves and their world. And why not?  From sharing unique experiences, to keeping in touch with friends and family, a picture is worth a thousand words, so why not share and share alike?  Instagram has a huge variety of content; some people focus on providing high-quality, even artistic, images of the world around us, while other people post pictures of themselves participating in questionable rites of passage (that collegiate keg stand, for example). Deep or superficial, serious or hilarious, those Instagram snaps are a window on the life experiences of all the people using the site. There’s no better app for sharing all of the moments that make life the wild ride it is, with funny, sad, adorable, and serious pictures that truly encompass the entire human experience. And of course, whether it’s a crazy picture of you and a friend, a funny selfie, or an amusing photo of you and your significant other, you want to find the right words to go with your image.

Some Instagram photos might not need a caption to get the message or meaning across— there are, after all, some visuals that speak for themselves. But sometimes the only way to spell out the true meaning of a more abstract image is to caption the photo, and that’s where we come in. Whether your joke needs a bit of context to get the point across, a dash of ingenuity, or just a bit of linguistic je ne sais quoi, we’ve got you covered. Whether your forte is more along the lines of weird selfies, funny group shots of your friends, or anything else under the sun, here’s some ideas for captioning a funny moment.

Funny Instagram Captions for Selfies

You’ve taken the perfect selfie—now all you need is the perfect way describe the image. Taking a funny selfie isn’t easy, so it’s important to really nail it with the caption to get your point across. Maybe you’re worried that your friends won’t think your photo is actually funny or cute, so you want to up the ante. In that case, you’ll need a funny quote or saying to really drive home the punchline. If you aren’t sure what to write, or you’re having a bit of writer’s block, here are some of our favorite ideas:

• My mobile camera isn’t working well. Or I might look like an angel.
• Self portrait of an actual trainwreck.
• I feel I am the undiscovered supermodel.
• Man on fire.
• Kinda classy, kinda hood.
• May your coffee be hot and your eyeliner even.
• I like long romantic walks down every aisle at Target.
• I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open, looking for answers. Also food.
• Confidence level: Kanye West.
• Who needs self-awareness when I can make you aware of me instead?
• Only dead fish go with the flow.
• …Moonwalks out of awkward situation.
• Even I don’t believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in five minutes.
• Reality called, so I hung up.
• I don’t sweat—I sparkle.
• Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

• My prince is not coming on a white horse… he’s obviously riding a turtle somewhere, really confused.
• It’s too “a.m.” for me.
• I’m worried that no one will ever make me as happy as tacos do.
• Namast’ay in bed.
• It’s okay to be a glow stick; sometimes we need to break before we shine.
• I like big cups and I cannot lie.
• I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
• Don’t let anyone tell you that you wear too much black.
• How I feel when there is no coffee? Depresso.
• Out of the way, world. I’ve got my sassy pants on today.
• I have a clean conscience. I haven’t used it once until now.
• I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it’s more of a wrap.
• This may be the wine talking, but I really like wine.
• Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.
• When people say they love the smell of books I always want to ask them if they understand how reading works.

• You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.
• I don’t want to take down my Christmas lights so I’m turning my house into a restaurant.
• I’m tired of going to two different huts to get pizza and sunglasses!
• They say cooking is easy, but it’s not as easy as not cooking.
• Just because I can’t dance doesn’t mean I shouldn’t dance.
• There is no “i” in “denial”.
• How long has nostalgia been around?
• I work out religiously – once at Christmas and then again at Easter.
• Sometimes I give my dog a performance review, just to remind him who’s in charge.
• Just did some serious cleaning in here. You could *actually* eat off my plates.
• I can remember a time when I knew more than my phone did.
• I’m on the paleo diet. I’m the caveman who discovered Snickers bars.
• I invented a new word: “Plagiarism”
• Haircuts are wonderful. I did none of the work but I get all of the compliments.
• I put my root beer in a square glass. Now it’s just beer.

Funny Instagram Captions and Quotes for Groups, Friends, and Family

So you’ve got the selfie captions out of the way, but what about when you’re hanging with your family, friends, or your pals from work?  Group shots have a definite feeling about them that depends on the time and place- especially if that place is “Happy Hour.”  No one else will ever truly understand the vibe at that specific moment more than you do—hence the term, “I guess you had to be there.” But the right quote or caption can bring your followers in on how awesome the moment truly is, filling them in on all the hilarious details. Bring back that feeling of “laugh ’til you cry,” “laugh ’til your stomach hurts,” or “laugh ’til you pee your pants,” as needed by using one of these captions or quotes on the next photo of your crazy friends that you post to Instagram. That way, you can give a bit more insight into the kooky tribe you’ve built for yourself. Here’s the list:

• Nobody really likes us but us… and even that’s kind of questionable.
• I like you because you join in on my weirdness.
• Find your tribe; love them hard.
• Putting the “we” in “weird.”
• No one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
• Let’s do some “We shouldn’t be doing this” things.
• You laugh. I laugh. You cry. I cry. You jump off a really tall cliff. I yell, “Do a flip!”
• Let’s share a bottle of wine and regrettable choices.
• If you surround yourself with clowns, don’t be surprised if your life resembles a circus.
• Me and my friends start trends.
• Remember: as far as anyone knows, we are a nice, normal family.
• We are all born crazy. Some of us remain that way.
• I only roll with goddesses.
• Mess with me, I’ll let karma do its job. Mess with my family?  I become karma.
• We are going to be really cool old ladies.
• I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult.
• People are like Oreos. The good stuff is on the inside.
• It’s been one blur of fun.
• All good things are wild and free.
• Right back on my worst behavior.
• Fun fact: Positive vibes can also be used as a Debbie Downer repellent.
• I hope you dance like no one’s watching, because they’re not—they’re taking video to share on YouTube.
• I don’t know a perfect person. I only know flawed people who are still worth loving.
• Don’t worry about what I’m doing. Worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.

• Love the people you can be weird with.
• A day without laughter is a day wasted.
• My friends and I laugh about how competitive we are, but I laugh the most.
• My mom and dad didn’t want to move to Florida but they turned 60 and that’s the rule.
• The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise, but the fire trucks ruined it.
• Be nice to your kids. They’re the ones who get to choose your nursing home.
• Becoming a parent is pretty easy. Being one isn’t always.
• Remember, kids: if you want a puppy, beg your parents for a baby brother or sister.
• Parenting is easy once you learn the secret. Please, somebody, tell me the secret!

We Got Jokes

Sometimes you just need a quick one-liner to make your friends laugh.  These might fit more on the “Dad Joke” realm of humor, so they won’t be perfect for every selfie… but there are a lot of great opportunities for throwing these one-liners into Instagram just to give your followers that groan/laugh combo.

• I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
• Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
• Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
• I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
• I like older men because they’ve gotten used to life’s disappointments. Which means they’re ready for me.
• The road to success is always under construction.
• I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
• Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I’m a mile away and I have his shoes.
• I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
• Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.
• I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn’t talking to me.
• Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
• A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
• True friendship is walking into a person’s house and your Wi-Fi connects automatically.
• My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
• Smoking will kill you… Bacon will kill you… But smoking bacon will cure it.
• eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
• A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.
• Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
• My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
• It’s better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
• A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
• Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
• The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
• Everyone my age is older than me.
• I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
• My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.
• I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
• Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
• The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
• Being an adult is just walking around wondering what you’re forgetting.

So, there it is. Another great list for Instagram selfie captions and quotes. Whether you’re a lone wolf or you’ve found your pack, you’ll be sure to find one or many choices for whatever sentiment the situation requires. These lists are great for funny photos, lighthearted and celebratory times with friends, and sassy and silly selfies. Leave the deep, sentimental, or really serious captions for your other posts. (You can see our other articles right here on Tech Junkie for ideas for Instagram captions and quotes that are more on the sappyor romantic side of things, if that’s more your speed…or we’ve got caption lists for waterfalls, for Memorial Day, for concerts, for the zoo, and for Disney World).

What are your favorite funny or lighthearted Instagram post captions that you have shared? Leave your best ones in the comments for us—bonus points if it makes us laugh!