It’s never been easy to break up, and it’s gotten even worse in the social media era. Everything that happens in our lives goes public, sometimes whether we like it or not. The songs tell us that breaking up is hard to do – and now you get to do it while your ex is posting their incessant status updates about new friends and new partners. The temptation can be very strong to crawl under a rock, pull up the blankets and binge-watch romance movies on Netflix. However, it might be healthier to engage with social media instead of shunning it. You’ve got your own life to live and your own selfies to post to Instagram. This article is full of great Instagram captions for your post-breakup self. It’s time to kiss your old life goodbye and embrace your sassy and sadder-but-wiser new life.
A Message to Your Ex
- The real reason I’m over you is because now I see who you really are.
- Don’t be sorry. Trusting you was my mistake, not yours.
- I was better than your ex. I’ll be better than your next.
- You let go of a diamond. Good luck collecting rocks.
- If I treated you the way you treated me, then you would hate me.
- Why is my sanity paying the price for your mistakes?
- You will search for me in another person, I promise.
- I tried. You didn’t. I’m done.
- Don’t get herpes this summer trying to make me jealous.
- You turned into everything you said you’d never be.
- Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
- You cannot destroy me.
- I hope you step on a Lego.
- You were dumb enough to walk away; I was smart enough to let you go.
About the Breakup
- Our breakup was due to religious differences; she thought she was God and I didn’t.
- Jennifer Aniston got over Brad Pitt. I can get over you.
- I like my relationships like I like my eggs — over easy.
- Say goodbye and get yourself free.
- It’s not you. It’s that I finally realized you’re terrible.
- The best revenge is to smile and move on.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, we’re breaking up because I never loved you.
- If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, set them on fire.
- My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more like her ex. So I dumped her.
- I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost as if you’re here!
- Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together.
- Sometimes, letting go can make you stronger.
- Love is unconditional. Relationships are not.
- Someday it’s gonna make sense.
- Stars only shine in the darkness.
- I don’t miss him. I miss who I thought he was.
- “Love is a grave mental disease.” – Plato
- Love is unconditional, relationships are not.
- As soon as forever is through, I’ll be over you.
- Never love that which you cannot keep.
- “The hottest love has the coldest end.” – Socrates
- Stars can’t shine without darkness.
- “No man is rich enough to buy back his past.” – Oscar Wilde
- “The heart will break, but broken live on.” – Lord Byron
- Sharp are the arrows of a broken heart.
- “When trees burn, they leave the smell of heartbreak in the air.” – Jodi Thomas
- Grief is the price we pay for love.
- The heart was made to be broken.
- Sometimes, not getting what you want is a stroke of luck.
- “We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
- “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” – The Dalai Lama
Can’t Let Go
- What do you do when the person who broke your heart is the only one who can fix it?
- When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
- The hottest love has the coldest end.
- “Only time can heal his heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.” – Miss Piggy
- Moving on is easy. It’s staying moved on that’s trickier.
- I think it’s important to realize you can miss something, but not want it back.
About Your Ex’s New Love
- You can’t make me jealous of your man. If he was worth keeping, I would have.
- Be that hot ex-girlfriend that your ex-boyfriend’s new girl constantly stalks on social media.
- Oh, you’re dating my ex? Cool. I’m eating a sandwich – want those leftovers too?
- Are you dating my ex? I thought the five second rule only applied to food I dropped.
- Forgiveness is the final act of love.
- Sometimes you miss the memories, not the person.
- It’s sad when people can walk past you and pretend you were never a big part of their life.
- Regret you? Nah. At one point you were exactly what I needed.
- You can never “just be friends” with someone you fell in love with.
- One makes mistakes; that is life. But it is never a mistake to have loved.
Seeing Things Clearly
- Ever look at your ex and wonder if you were drunk the entire relationship?
- You learn more about someone at the end of a relationship than at the beginning.
- My ex is living proof of how stupid I can be.
- Never let an old flame burn you twice.
When They Ask You Back
- When your past calls, don’t answer. (It has nothing new to say).
- They always come back, especially when you’ve moved on.
- As soon as your ex sees you smiling, that’s the minute they want you back.
- Taking your ex back is like trying to put poop back into your butt.
- If you start to miss me, then remember that I didn’t walk away – you let me go.
- If an ex tells you they miss you, that means they failed to replace you.
Landing On Your Feet
- Sometimes a man’s purpose in a woman’s life is to help her become a better woman…for a different man.
- No boyfriend – no problems.
- Whatever, I’ll just date myself.
- If you’re happy and you know it, thank your ex!
- Every time your heart is broken, a doorway cracks open to a world full of new beginnings, new opportunities.
- “Sadness flies away on the wings of time.” – Jean de La Fontaine
- I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.
Listen to the Experts
- “Now you’re just somebody that I used to know.” – Gotye
- “Ex boyfriends are just off limit to friends. I mean that’s just the rules of feminism.” – Mean Girls
- “Loving a man shouldn’t have to be this rough” ―
- “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe
- “Never underestimate a man’s ability to make you feel guilty for his mistakes.” – Rihanna
- “There’s something wrong with your character if opportunity controls your loyalty.” – Sean Simmons
- “I cannot compromise my respect for your love. You can keep your love, I will keep my respect.” – Amit Kalantri
- “Like some wines our love could neither mature nor travel.” – Graham Greene
- “If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.” – Michael Bassey Johnson
- “You fell in love with a storm. Did you really think you would get out unscathed?” – Nikita Gill
- “He needs ‘space’ and ‘time,’ as if this were physics and not a human relationship.” – Kathryn Stockett
- “Somehow everything I own smells of you, and for the tiniest moment it’s all not true.”
- “That feeling you get when you want to tell some one you love them, and there is no one there.” – Melody Carstairs
- “He brought out the worst in me, and was the best thing that ever happened to me.” – Coco J. Ginger
- “To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. It is not very pleasant to realize that to you it was only an episode.” – W. Somerset Maugham
- “His lips would never be able to reply to the words she could not say.” ― Jamie Weise
- “There is an ocean of silence between us… and I am drowning in it.” – Ranata Suzuki
- “I think perhaps I will always hold a candle for you – even until it burns my hand.” ― Ranata Suzuki
Let the Music Play
- “If you’re gonna let me down, let me down gently. Don’t pretend that you don’t want me. Our love ain’t water under the bridge.” – Adele
- “So I would choose to be with you. That’s if the choice were mine to make. But you can make decisions too, and you can have this heart to break.” – Billy Joel
- “Falling for you was my mistake.” – The Weeknd
- “I could put my arms around every boy I see, but they’d only remind me of you.” – Sinead O’Connor
- “Some things a heart won’t listen to, I’m still holding out for you.” –
- “Once upon a time I was falling in love. Now I’m only falling apart. There’s nothing I can do. Total eclipse of the heart.” – Bonnie Tyler
- “..And now you’ve lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive” –
Of course, if you really want to make your ex jealous, consider not posting anything about him or her at all. Instead, just make sure you have some hot new shots of your and your friends living it up. Nothing says “I’m over you” like not giving someone the time of day.
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